Jonny the Recovering Technophiliac

UPDATE: Apologies for the uber brainfart as i mistakenly thought this was the 4th babbler rather than the 3rd.  Thanks to Al for noting the snafu! Check out his blog right here.

Welcome to the Babbler, where I condense and summarize what has happened in a period of time since my last post with brief and random thoughts usually because i haven’t had the time to blog in between. Some babbling may make sense, some may not…but that’s the premise, all the babble thats fit to blog! So off we go:

1. i used to be a big fan of voicemail.  back in ye olde days where i had my old pager in high school i’d always check my voicemail diligenty…the thought of having my own personal mailbox was pretty neat.  some people used 60-second song bites as a greeting, others actually said “hello?” while waiting a second before saying “oh im not here, leave a message” in an act of deceptive cruelty.  Either way i hated those two types of VM greetings…i kept mines simple and to the point…i had to!  I mean i was worrying too much about cell minute usage that i had to keep mines short not just for me but for those who called me.  This is where my next grips comes in…I was reading an article from David Pogue of the NY times about how major cell telcos like to pocket up extra cash at your expense by filling up your calls with unnecessary airtime through useless voice mail message instructions before hearing the actual tone.  I liked what he said here:

And then when I call in for messages, I’m held up for 15 more seconds. “To listen to your messages, press 1.” Why else would I be calling!?

So how can we take back the beep?  David writes up a nifty solution in his next article.  I linked it, but i’ll summarize the steps below:

a.) Press 1. If it’s Sprint, you get the beep, and you’re done. If you hear an error recording, go on:
b.) Press *. If it’s Verizon, you get the beep. If not:
c.) Press #. You get the beep for T-Mobile or Cingular.

2. Speaking about voicemails and cells, for those who know me, i am a proud iphone user (not because of my liking for apple, but for practicality/ease-of-use).  For those who know me further, i’m a gadget tinkerer who believes that once i buy something, i own it and have the right to modify it for better use and not for malice.  Case in point, my iphone 3GS is proudly jailbroken and unlocked to t-mobile.  Despite that Apple claims that JB’d iphones can cause an apocalypse in the cell industry, i think they’re just saying it because chances are AT&T are prodding them from behind closed doors.  I think Apple could care less just as long as they make a sale.  So why am i sticking it to the man and jail-breaking my iphone? Here are a few reasons:

a.) because i bought it, therefore i should be able to tinker it…it’s a personal belief of mines.
b.) i am a t-mobile customer and am happy with it.  I don’t need to pay an arm and a leg for voice and data, AND i use MMS too…which works!  I can’t use 3G, just EDGE…but i’m content with it as is.  I dislike AT&T with their bad customer service, poor network reception and their snarky iron-fisted rule over Apple’s App Store.  If AT&T where to improve all of their hiccups, then i’m sure none of this would be happening.
c.) two words: Google Voice.  Granted, i don’t have five numbers tethered to just one universal number, but i think it’s a very convenient way send/receive free text messages, voicemail service and cheap international calls. All which can be managed on a web page too!  Any banned App Store app usually gets bumped to the Cydia Store, the flagship place where any jailbroken iphone user can get apps free (some paid) that really put good use to the iphone.  So when AT&T/Apple banned GV Mobile, the unofficial Google Voice app, the dev simply ported it to Cydia.

3. Ah Beer Garden…it can get crowded …but when having fun for a friend’s birthday, you usually forget it all and just focus on having fun.  After my previous blog post i felt i needed a way to overwrite some memories with fresh new ones.  So i went with the usual entourage composed of Kev, Joe, Candice, Abner, Wayne, and myself.  We meet up with Sherry and her spacious Honda Element and we drive to the Garden where we’d partake on Sam Adams, Sangria, and wings while i played text-based Marco Polo with Alex as he was finding our table.  The rest of the night was fun, and as the night wore out, we all left to have a hot dog by corner enjoying the breezy night of Astoria, NY.  By the time i came home, i was relaxed with a smile on my face…good times indeed

For those of you who do not know what festivus is, feel free to read on.  Christmas has always been my favorite holiday amongst others (i.e. Thanksgiving, talk like a pirate day, Easter, etc), but Festivus holds a kind place in my heart.

This year I’m going to spend the holidays at home in NY with my local family.  The plan was for all of us to travel to Colombia this year but I wasn’t too keen on going there.  I had the intention of traveling elsewhere to discover something new.  Either way with our economy, neither choice would be happening any time soon.  In any case, i do look forward to many wonderful things in 2009…i could name them all, but that’ll be for another post.

So putting things in perspective, 2008 was certainly a year to remember as i’ve seen my share of good and bad.  So as it always helps to think positive, in the spirit of Festivus let us reflect on the things that have managed to bother me.  At least by letting this out of my system, i can make room for future good memories…so it’s a win-win for me!  Anyways, on with the airing of grievances:

- Apple, i love you, but when i paid you a ton of $ for an extended warranty plan, i should not have to pay for an extra battery just because you don’t want to accept that the battery i had was defective.

- There’s a pointless program on the iPhone that acts as a virtual glass of beer, yet there is no program that can send picture messages nor do simple copy/paste…what the crap?

- Blackberrys still suck…and the company’s attempt at making a touch-screen Blackberry (the “Storm“) just emphasizes my point even more.

- Corporate america, you essentially screwed a lot of us out of our hard-earned cash simply because you neglected to carry the 7 or add an extra minus in your books as long as your CEO’s earn pocket cash for an extra stripper wife.  I hope she gives you the clap.

- Disgruntled yellow cabbie drivers who do not use their GPS devices and claim they “know the way” when instead, I end up lost in the middle of Woodhaven Blvd at 1am.

- Meaningful conversations that get interrupted by the phone ringing approx 20 times… *carries the 7 while adding an extra minus*

- Bears.

- My laptop still manages to smudge at any and every opportunity no matter how much i clean it.

- The NY Mets…now don’t get me wrong, i am a diehard fan but i felt they really caved in at the last second to blow an opportunity to make it to the playoffs.  C’mon guys, please get your act together…i can only take so much abuse from smug yankee fans.

Well that’s just about it…now with all that bad mojo out of my system, here’s to a future full of wonderful things .

Dear ladies,

For too long have you felt like you’ve been subjected to the downfalls of relationships with that special guy you thought was “the one”?

Was it irreconcilable differences?
Infidelity?
Drifting from either end?
Some kind of misaligned connection?
Dishonesty?
…Or did he just want nothing more than that jewel between your legs?

Well lets face facts, no matter how many times you ask yourself why, chances are you just didn’t choose wisely from the beginning…but it’s not always your fault.  In our society, geeks are all labeled negatively in our society.  In this case, if you’re a geek or just smart enough to look up stuff in wikipedia, then you’re essentially casted out to be single forever.  So what’s left to choose from? The men for who aren’t quite the “big piece of chicken” from the basket.

So in this world of impending “change”, c’mon ladies, why not give geeks a chance for once? They may turn out to be better friends and/or lovers for you.  Here’s why:

- Remember, its all about breaking the stereotype.  sure there are a few geeks who are introverted and awkward, those are the types who don’t make the effort to talk to a girl unless she’s a digitized elf in some magical online game.  BUT does that mean all geeks are like that? No.  Some geeks have lives, and are saavy at having a social life while being who they are.

- We can do more than the average guy does in today’s techy world. Gone are the days where fixing a car or fixing a faucet gets her attention.  If he can fix a girl’s myspace page, iphone, or anything that plugs into an outlet or syncs to your PC…that can say a lot.

- We are a creative bunch.  If I want to watch a movie and she lives far away, I won’t just wait until I see her physically to watch the movie.  I’ll upload the dvd rip to my server, then we can watch it at the same time as if we both where at the movies.  Obviously not the same as watching a movie together physically, but at least we make the remote experience as close to the real deal.  What typical guy can pull that off?

- We’ve got brains. Come on now, wouldn’t it be nice to have a chat about something other than Daddy Yankee’s new hat for a change?  Sure geeks can be a little over-analytical at times (guilty as charged), but we’re smart enough when to know the right time to analyze or think simple.

- We don’t forget.  That’s because we’re all used to remembering other things with such diligence, we can properly remember things that even you may forget.  No need to worry about missed calls, we got it covered.  We will remember.  And if we act all coy pretending to forget…chances are, we did not forget and are just acting goofy is all.

- We are good in bed…yes, i said it.  typical guys will focus only on the T & A of a women’s body when getting intimate.  We geeks will focus on the entire alphabet, as when we care for you, we will care about your entire body, and study it to make sure your experience is quite a pleasurable one.

- We’re devoted and trusting. You won’t have to worry much about us if we talk to other guys or gals (depending on your sexual preference) at a club, but we are very weary of a line that can’t be crossed.  When we’re with you, we will close doors to any other advance made by any other girl…yeah, it’s possible for a guy to resist that kind of thing.  For example, supermodel Giselle Bundchen could flash me with her boobs, and beg me to get in the sack with her.  If my heart’s taken, then the answer is a respectful no.  But that’s just me and your mileage may vary with other geeks you may encounter.
(besides, the girl i’m friends with makes Ms. Bundchen look like nothing).

- We’re willing to try things!  Yes ladies, you can’t assume our version of trying new things is limited to installing new software or opening up a new gadget.  Unlike typical men, we’re willing to try all things with you to show just how adaptive we can be.  We will take interest!

- We aren’t possessive. When we care about you, we will trust you, so you can be yourself around us. You like to walk around the house with a “bed hairdo” and a ratty t-shirt for comfort?  We won’t care.  We like about you, for you.

- We know how to speak. chances are if someone tries to offend you, we’ll be quick with a witty comeback.  although we’re also ready to use force if need be.  but hey if we gotta kick some ass, at least we tried to be diplomatic about it first…that’s class.

- And finally ladies, allow me to repeat the most important reason why geeks are worth the effort…ready?
…WE ACTUALLY GIVE A DAMN ABOUT YOU!!!  Not by how you look (though lets be honest, that helps), nor how skinny you are, nor how much make-up you primp yourself up with…but we like you for YOU. That kind of thing will be guaranteed to last a lot longer than “DaMN baby u g0t a fiiiine ass, imma buy u a drink!!”…believe me.

So now that i have enlightened you with all this info i have gathered from sources and my own experiences, hopefully this will help you all make the right choices in the future.

Sincerely,

Jon

Here are some random thoughts that circled in my mind while i was partaking a little wine last night with friends at a neighbor’s apartment:

- Rule of thumb, it is near-impossible to come home smelling of wine and pretending to hide it without having your twin brother realizing it.

- Never debate with a woman about her weight. If you guess too low she will believe you are a liar. If you guess too high she will kill you. I hope my neighbor learned his lesson with his new lease on life.

- To go home, all i had to do was climb up one set of stairs…i wish more places where convenient like this.

- Alka-seltzer is the king of hangover cures; colombian soup is a close second.